Today is the 3rd year anniversary of the day my dad died.
Although it is not a celebration in me, it is a steady and strong pull to consciously connect to my memories of our shared life, but most importantly for me, to remember that day in particular as we gathered around him while he lay giving us the gift of saying "good bye."
That memory is one of the clearest and most defining moments I'd ever been privilege to witness in my father.
He became a true HERO to me that late afternoon, February 13, 2007.
Our family old & young, gathered around his hospital bed – this man who was our father, brother, grandfather, great grandfather, brother-in-law, uncle, and his favorite role husband to Betty – sending him all our love, expressing our gratitude to him, wishing for his safe journey, and reassurancing him that we would care for Mom and one another in his physical absence. So much love extended that this small, gray hospital room began to radiate a golden, calm, peaceful light. A moment in time that was a tangible and precious gift in the midst of long-held suffering and deep grief.
Months before his death, I promised in the presence of my dad that I would return to hospice end-of-life care of the spirit again one day. Sensing my father's once earthly impatience, the time has come as I begin in the one arena I'm most challenged - writing and editing...my community's hospice volunteer newsletter.
Being completely motivated since too early this morning I've nearly completed my first solo edition. And in the mix of reading, editing, and coaching my inner editor I found the most beautiful video on "Grief Rituals."
This post is also dedicated to all of my family and heart-friends who share themselves so openly and completely. You too are my inspiration for discovering new pathways to healing our hearts as we support one another during that last adventure that someday we all will take. Heart-hugs, kim
I invite you to watch this moving permission slip to fully and uniquely communicate, express, and ultimately soothe into healing our anticipatory grief in the time surrounding the death, dying and bereavement process.
***To mute music played on my blog, just go up along the right sidebar until you see the black playlist, and push the pause button-It should be quiet now.***
Wes (and Nathan, not seen here as he's wearing his invisibility cloak,) performed an inspiring rendition.
They are half the foursome of The Gentlemen of Society)
as all seasons do.
Stay in your season of Winterness as long as need be,
for everything you feel is appropriate.
There is no right way to grieve.
There is just your way.
It will take as long is it takes.
~ Rusty Berkus, from To Heal Again
In memory of my dad Kenneth Russell Snyder, Sr. Because we were fortunate and took the time before his death to tell each other, Thank You Please Forgive Me I Forgive You I Love You & Goodbye,
I know my dad knew my heart (but it bears repeating,) as time being the teacher it is, there is something I never got to tell him ~
Dad,
It was never any secret that I thought you were the most challenging person in my life and too often, the biggest pain in my butt.
In turn, too often, I was yours!
Because I hadn't learned it yet, something I wasn't able to tell you before the Winter of your lifepassed is that
you have also been
one of my greatest teachers in the lessons of
acceptance
&
forgiveness
Thank you, Dad. I'll be forever grateful.
Peace
Peace
Peace
xo
love, kimberly ~
View other entries related to dragonflies, dads & daughter
These guys not only play & sing like they're on the "American Idol" tour, but they entertain us with hysterical lyrics, on stage shenanigans, and genuine Gentlemen-like FUN!
Congratulations, Gentlemen of Society...Let the entertainment begin!
Saying good-bye to a home or space is an important part of moving forward. It gives us a sense of completion.
When we move from one residence to another, we often get so caught up in the forward thrust of where we are going that we forget to properly say good-bye to the home we are leaving behind. Yet saying good-bye is an important part of moving forward. It gives us a sense of completion so that we are able to fully inhabit our new space, having left nothing of ourselves behind in the old one. In this way, we honor the space that has held and nurtured us. At the same time, we cleanse it and empty it of our energy so that the new residents can make the space theirs.
Plan a walk through your home that begins and ends at the front door. Ideally, you will be alone or accompanied only by a person who shared the space with you. Prepare yourself mentally to be as present as you can during this process. As you enter the house, you might say, “I have come to thank you for being my home and to say good-bye.” You might touch the walls with your hands as you move through the house, or you might burn sage as an offering, as well as an energy cleanser. Spend some time in each room expressing your gratitude and gathering or releasing any lingering energy from the room. As you do this, you are freeing your home to embrace its new occupants. Remember to visit your outside spaces as well. Plants are especially sensitive to the energy around them and will appreciate your consideration.
As you make your way back to the front door, know that you have completed your final journey through your home and that you have honored and blessed it with this ritual of farewell. As you close and lock the door behind you, say one last good-bye. Now you can walk freely into your future and fully inhabit the new spaces that will keep you safe and warm.
CONGRATULATIONS MOM & MCCOY...LET THE FUTURE BEGIN!
